awesome story from forum *gasp!*


Been with my GF now for 8 years since she was in college. Back then I had nothing but just a good mouth to convince her for a chance. Honestly, I was a slacker then. Had no job for a year before I met her and not even a car or even money and was even fat  . Hmmm...wouldn't think I would want myself now looking back. I guess a relationship truly changes someone. The night after she accepted me, I had to start my "transformation plan":

Chapter 1: How to pick up my life and be better/decent/acceptable?
So, first things first. Had to look for a job. I was only 21 then, so I didn't mind working in fast food just as long as I can afford to take her to a movie and a nice restaurant. I think most guys can understand how painful it is to can't even afford to do that to the person you really love. As reality steps in, I couldn't find a job for at least 3 months. Not good... She was starting to get annoyed as she is the one to pay for food and drive us around. Can't blame her as she might be cursing herself for making a dumb choice.

I was about to give up and tell her to find someone else until luck came. I managed to land myself a job in a firm as a junior staff. From RM 0 > RM 1,200 , it was a great start. At least now we have something to smile about and weekends were more fun when you have some money to spend. Life was good but it could have been better. I mean who am I kidding? RM 1,200 is a joke if you want to plan to have fun and even be presentable. I was still borderline low income earner. Could only afford a Kancil (which I didn't get due to stubburnness)...  

Then comes the peer pressure. Her friends would be comparing BF's car's, salaries's, etc. So guess who came at the bottom again?  The new problem now is, I don't make enough money. Which is also the same reason why she can't tell her family about me which they would reject it. Coming from a poor family as well, I had nothing much to offer and hers was much well off than mine. Her father has an established business and her mother is some high ranking company manager. The differences was just too great. 

So thinking to myself, if she is worth it then I should do my best.....and I did think she is. Beautiful, smart, (fill in the lines here for the perfect girl specs, guys). Plans for the next operation starts....


Chapter 2: A relationship isn't cheap even before marriage

So, I've got a low paying job and a new one too. The first thing that comes to mind is find a part time job but that would use up all of my time to spend with her. So scratch that and do what I can which is: Do BETTER at my job. I did everything I could. Came to work the earliest, be the last to leave. Basically, took on as much work as I can. My colleagues was thinking I was just a gullible upstart who was dumb and a lot of energy. I had to endure 6 months of that...and was almost out of strength but hey, better this than to lose what I had going with her. She was kind of pitiful for me to be working that much. So that made the tireness go away. 

One day, I was summoned into the office of the company's Managing Director. I thought I did something wrong since my employee files was on his desk. He noticed me staying after office hours quite often. Obviously too since for the past few years he was always the last person leaving. So after checking through my records and some chat with my Manager, he just mentioned I was working in the wrong place. Thankfully, he wasn't firing me instead a position opened up in a new but loss making department and he thought I would be good for it. Perfect! I took the job immediately as the new Acting Department Manager (under probation). Sounds really good but nothing special really since I only had 2 staff in it. lol. But still I was expected to bring profits or otherwise resign. It was a DO or DIE situation again. Importantly, I achieved my current goal. I managed to bump up my salary from a measly RM 1,200 > RM 2,000. (I know! WTF is a Dept Manager with such a low salary???) But I didn't care what matters I did it.

So all that 6 months of hard work paid off, I then managed to buy a new Toyota (thank god I put off buying a Kancil). That shut up her friends but it was still a way to go before I can meet the parents. 

I had a new challenge. My mother then started asking me for a higher allowance. Funny thing. Most guys thought that earning your salary meant keeping it for yourself but we always forget without parents, we're nothing. So in one pocket and out the next. Damn. The money that I planned to save is gone and the holiday I planned is even lost. Ok, back to square one. A job with money that doesn't end up a lot. Can't think much about it but fix my new job issues. So I had 1 year to make sure my new dept made profits. To cut it short, I managed to bring it back to black and profits were up to 100k in the matter of 10 months. Of course, my MD was extremely pleased and gave me a pay rise of RM 4,500. Now we're talking! 

Good life? NO. A new problem happened like a bloody drama from TVB! My mother got into debts and started asking money from my GF. Don't know about you guys, but this is just damn embarassing! It got so bad until she even took money from loan sharks and got me involved. Things turned for the worse when I had to live in fear in the house I grew up in. Due to the situation, I told my GF to leave because it was unsafe. I think we all know what loan sharks can do these days.....but she refused. Instead we just talked on the phone more often instead. She's just lovely. 

The last straw came when my own mother abandoned the house. It was then the loan sharks was targetting me instead. For those of you who don't know how life is on the run, Be happy! I was chased by mat rempit like madmen and forced me off the road, smashed my new car and even sent me bullets in envelop to tell me times up. Then, the banks came and sealed up my house with everything inside because apparently my mother also took loans which she can't repay. That along with everything I owned as well, our nice government made my items for public auction eventhough it has nothing to do with me.

This is confirmed the darkest moment of my life, I was ready to hang myself in suicide. The funny thing is the moment you wanted to take your life, the most important thing that matter to you comes to mind. In my case, it was my GF and the good times I had. I cursed god that day. I worked so hard that year to get to where I am and he gives me this as a reward. I was pissed! I've been making miracles with myself so far, so let's see if I can get out of this mess. I took a challenge to survive.

So, all I had was just a backpack full of clothes, a job, a banged up car, no family and just the girl of my dreams who still didn't leave despite the worst condition for a guy to be with. (If I had a daughter whose BF is like me, I would have told her to drop him in an instant!) I left the house where I grew up and never looked back. I had to start a new life from scratch. There's now only me and her.


Chapter 3: Recovery is a bitter pill to swallow

What to do when you have a pack of loan sharks after you and a whole lot of people as well? You run of course but question is where? My selection of accommodation was a drastic one. In the end I chose to live in opposite sides of the state. I rented out a flat (can't be in an apartment even if I can afford it) in a Malay village where i was the 5% of non-malays living there. It was an eye opener. First thing was everywhere you walk people are staring and wondering why is a chinese guy moving in here and was half expecting for a group of them to jump on me in the dark(unwarranted stereotype, I know). Still, I was approximately 100KM away from my home and away from the line of fire. I find it unusually safe. My GF however, still managed to drive to see me every weekend to and fro. So that made living there bearable. 

In the first few months, adjusting to life was horrible. I had to put on a strong front when I go to work and pretend nothing happened. Juggling a mess at home and issues at work is something nobody should have to go through. I still had to appear in court to try to defend my personal belongings sealed in my ex-home. It was 6 months of court battle with me defending myself but still I lost the case. Luckily I managed to win back some small items for myself. It was then I realised one thing, THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN COURT, THERE'S ONLY THE LAW. It didn't matter I got my facts straight, the judge was favourable to the banks instead. So no point fighting.

So for the next 3 years. I lived and recovered in the Malay kampung. As it turned out, I learned a lot about the Malays around me and I grew to like them. My 50 over neighbours around me was very courteous and respectable folks. Plus, the biggest difference was when you are on the road in the area, everyone was very polite unlike in the city where people will cutting and honking and giving you the birdy signs. I was shocked!

Overall, it was a long 3 years for me and my GF. We quarelled over the smallest things and at the slightest problems. She was clearly stressed out that I still had to keep a secret from her parents. At the end of our 5th year anniversary, I made a promise to make another change in my life since things wasn't improving. My salary wasn't increasing anymore. The only other promotion next is to be General Manager but that would be ages before I get there. So I chose to leave the company and started my own business instead.

It was the biggest gamble I have taken. No stable income and large chances of losing it all but it was still the only way. For the first year in business, I barely survived. I could only pay myself RM 2,000 a month and sometimes nothing at all. During bad months, she had to even lend me money to move forward. Let's just say taking money from a girl is not a proud thing for a guy but neccesary (convinced her I would pay back with 200% interest  ). Our quarrels grew worst during this period. We were ready to call it quits but I still believed I made the right choice and continued.

Good luck happened after a year thankfully. I closed a major deal ever with a lot of profits to be made. With the first check, the first thing I did was to move out from the flat and got into a new house worth RM 1.5 million and a lot closer to her home. The sight on her face made it all worth while as I drove her to my new home. I made her cry that day.  6 and 1/2 years of torture being with a guy and this is the first signs of better life and a heck more space (my flat I was living in was just 500 sqft). I made sure she had the best I can afford in food, clothes (lots of shoes and bags of course) and entertainment. I still kept my banged up car though. It somehow reminds me worst times and not get carried away with my success.

So now, I am at the start of good career at 30 years old. I am planning to finally meet her parents soon. All those years of waiting must have got her spooked as she still thinks Im not ready. However, i intend to meet her father soon and properly introduce myself. Do understand that she comes from a traditional chinese family and her parents warned her about the kind of guys they dislike and I fit the profile exactly.